Overcoming Fear With Kindness

By Jessica Lowe, Founder of Be a Little Too Kind

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.” – John 4:18

In 2021 I made the decision to do something kind. That decision shifted the course of my life into a direction that I never would have ever imagined. It has been one of the most rewarding and eye-opening blessings I could ever ask for and has shown me one of my life’s callings.

And to think, I almost didn’t do it simply because of fear.

Be A Little Too Kind

I run a nonprofit called Be a Little Too Kind and we provide around 100 hot homemade meals as well as 100 sack lunches every Thursday to those experiencing homelessness in downtown Salt Lake City. Since starting my nonprofit, the number one question I am always asked is, “Are you ever afraid?” The answer to that question caused me to ponder a lot about fear. Where it comes from, why we experience it and what it could be holding us back from achieving. When thinking about my own experiences I often wonder, “Is fear preventing us from being kind?”

My Initial Terrifying Act of Kindness

After beginning a culinary training program in downtown Salt Lake City, I quickly realized that we were throwing away a LOT of amazing food. The area that my school was in was saturated with a homeless population. I thought to myself, “Why are we wasting all this incredible gourmet food when we could be giving it to the people in need?” I started bringing containers from home to pack leftover food in at the end of the day, and then I would pass the containers of food out to any of the homeless individuals I saw as I walked back to my truck.

I remember very vividly the first time I grew enough courage to give the leftovers to someone. I was shaking like crazy, and my legs felt like Jello walking up to two men I knew nothing about. They presented a rough exterior, and because of my obsession with true crime, my mind was racing with the number of dangerous scenarios I was SURE were about to take place in that moment. As much as I felt like this was something I needed to do, I kept having these feelings of doubt and fear causing me to wonder whether I should ditch the whole idea. These were men I would NEVER approach alone in any circumstance, but through my fear and trembling, I felt an inner peace pushing me to be brave.

As I handed the men the food and stuck out my hand to introduce myself, something changed in both of us. Their tough outer shell, that they clearly used as a defense mechanism, morphed into humility and gratefulness which allowed me to see them as more than just two scary guys. I saw them as people with families. I saw their pain and hurt. I saw their frustration and trials. Aside from the direction in which our paths had taken us, they were just like me. They were my brothers. I wasn’t afraid anymore. I felt peace and love. Because I was able to push past my fears, I was gifted with this beautiful moment of kindness that was a blessing to both the receiver and the giver.

Fear vs Caution

Fear is not foreign to any of us, especially in today’s world where there seems to be so much to fear or worry about. The fear I’m talking about is the emotion we feel when the presumed outcome of a situation or experience feels detrimental or unsafe to our physical, emotional, or psychological well-being. When we feel afraid, we tend to stress about it by asking ourselves questions like, “What if I look dumb? What if people laugh at me? What if I’m rejected? What if I mess up? What if I get hurt? What if someone hates me?” But what exactly is fear and where does it come from?

I am a person of faith with a Christian background so that plays a big role in my thinking. I feel like fear comes from evil or negative influences. I think back on how after Adam and Eve partook of the fruit, they were made to feel fear and shame and hide from the Lord’s presence. In 2 Timothy 1:7 it states, “…for God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” I feel like fear does NOT come from God, but rather the adversary.

Now this can be slightly confusing because I could say that I’m fearful of walking into oncoming traffic. I know that doing so will result in a horrible consequence. So how is fear evil? It feels like fear saves my life sometimes! The answer to this is simple! Too often we confuse fear and caution. Fear and caution from the Spirit are not the same! If we are aware of what the Spirit sounds like to each of us individually, we will be able to differentiate between the two and not be confused.

Differentiating Caution and Fear

When I first began my nonprofit, I would drive around passing out food and hygiene items. Many times, I would have to go behind buildings or in other areas that were secluded. I always made sure that I was safe by not approaching someone alone when no one else could see me.

One day I saw an individual who looked as though they needed food and against my own gut feelings, I drove behind a building to get to him. This man didn’t look scary at all. He had a cheerful face and rosy cheeks. I quickly jumped out of my truck to grab a bag of food for him but as SOON as I handed the bag over to the man and his big ole smiling face, I heard the Spirit whisper to me, “You need to leave right now.” It was short and clear. It was also odd because I had never felt that way before and I had encountered many “scarier looking” individuals. Again, I heard and felt the spirit say to me even louder, “YOU NEED TO GET IN YOUR TRUCK AND LEAVE RIGHT NOW. DO NOT STAY ONE SECOND LONGER.”

With that second prompting I didn’t think to hesitate a minute longer. I said goodbye and quickly jumped in my truck, shut the door, and drove away. I have no idea what would have happened if I had stayed longer. I DO know that what I felt in that moment was a caution from the spirit. It felt VASTLY different from fear. Listening and acting on THAT is what quite possibly saved my life that day. Caution from the spirit is healthy and it’s God’s way of warning us of danger, to be careful or prepared. When we react appropriately and take precautions as we are prompted, there is no need to dwell on fear.

Why Would We Feel Fear

When I reflect on moments where I felt afraid of doing something but pushed through that fear and did it anyway, those experiences are all moments in my life when I had personal growth or what I like to call, leveled-up! So, it’s logical to assume that when we feel that feeling of fear creep in, maybe we should stop and recognize that it’s more than likely the adversary trying to hold us back from bigger and better stages of our development and growth.

This caused me to question; are the things we fear the most ACTUALLY the things that could be the most beneficial to us? It makes sense that Satan would want to try to scare us away from the area that we would be powerful in or things that would allow us to gain the most personal growth.

Kindness Overcoming Fear

My sister Lindsay shared with me that she was able to personally witness the effect of overcoming her fears to be kind and then saw the domino effect of kindness that followed. One afternoon Lindsay visited a convenience store to grab a few items. As she walked into the store, she noticed a homeless man outside looking very sad. Even though she was a little nervous to approach him, she felt prompted to ask the man if there was anything she could grab for him while she was in the store, and so she did. He was caught off guard that she not only noticed him but took the time to talk to him and he politely asked for a coffee because it was cold that morning.

Lindsay went inside and got her items as well as the coffee and brought it outside to give to the man. He shared with her that he often sits outside that store and usually NO ONE pays him any attention, let alone asks to buy him a coffee. He told her how grateful he was for her kindness, and they sat and talked for over an HOUR about life and all sorts of different things.

During the hour they talked, Lindsay said that FIVE MORE PEOPLE either asked the man if he needed anything or gave him something they had purchased while they were in the store. Because of Lindsay’s courage to push past fear and speak to this man, she was an example to five others who did the same when normally, no one took the time to pay him any attention. How incredible is that?

Have Courage and Be Kind

Leah Welker, a writer for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, wrote, “Though we are counseled to stand in holy places and to make our homes a refuge, that does not mean we are to cower behind our walls and turn a blind eye to the suffering of God’s children – our brothers and sisters. We are not meant to be passive bystanders, merely waiting for the day that our Deliverer will come. We are to be anxiously engaged in alleviating suffering and building His kingdom – here and now.”

Overcoming my fear to be kind and pass out those containers of food to those first two homeless men was one of the very first steps that got me to where I am today: running a nonprofit for over two years, sharing kindness with more than 100 “homies” every week, and creating an opportunity where hundreds of volunteers and donors can also participate and be involved in sharing kindness. The ripple effect reaches far and wide in all directions. It’s no wonder that Satan tried to put a stop to it.

Might I add to that statement that the way to do so is through kindness in every form, every thought, every action, and every word. If we cling to love and kindness instead of fear, we can be a powerful force of nature, acting in and for the cause for good. So, with that, I’ll share the Bible verse that happens to be my favorite fear not moment.

“For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.” -Isaiah 41:13

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